I still remember when I first fell in love, it was like a whole new world where everything was all rosey! Then with marriage on the cards, I was on cloud #9, as the date for the wedding came closer, I started having wedding jitters.
There was the calmness of finally being with the one true love of my life, but then at times just the thought of leaving my entire family, my home, my cocoon and my comfort zone, and entering a life full of responsibilities, a new family where I did not know anybody and everybody was a stranger, gave me the SHIVERS!! It dawned in me that I was no longer a small girl who always talked of not marrying because I did not want to leave my family! I was a big girl who herself was in a hurry to get married and not even once it occurred that I'm going to leave my loved ones behind to be with a family that would be called as MINE, enter a home that would be MINE!
With the D-Day approaching giving me no time to spend with my family, my heart became heavier with each day passing quickly. After the wedding when it was time to leave my family I couldn't hold back my tears even though I was very happy to be married to Alok. Leaving them has been the toughest thing I have had to do. My mother, grandmother( whom I have been very close to), grandfather( who has been my father), aunt, uncle, sisters, brothers etcetera, all with tears and me howling like crazy. I was leaving home to go to MY HOME!! Even now after soo many years when I see my wedding pictures I cry!
The first time after my marriage when I went home to stay for a few days( as per the rituals), I was happy seeing all the roads I used to travel on in school and college days! For soo many years it's been the same thing. Even this trip of mine to Udaipur, being a mature mother of 2 kids of 7&6 respectively, made me excited as soon as the flight landed, again the entire way I told my kids stories of familiar places that I saw on the way home! Everything has been same including the fights I have with my mom who wants me to still be her baby, to the heartache of leaving this place!!
Looking at the same roads that while coming to Udaipur made me very happy and excited, now brought tears in my eyes. I did not want to leave, but I also knew that this was inevitable. Even 8 years after marriage going back to my house from my moms place is the toughest!
This is one feeling that never goes, no matter how much we quarrel with our parents....leaving their house and going back to your own is always very tough! With a heavy heart I bid adieu to Udaipur....my moms place!
